Ravings Of A Madman.

Some people can't help being the way they are.
Even if you change, if you really wanted to, it wouldn't really change who you are. You can get a different personality, different motives, and strive to achieve different things, but deep inside there's still something that makes you you.
Some people, they'll never do certain things, and some will do most things. Different people have different morals, different beliefs. Some people would do things some would deem strange just to see what the affects are. They'd wave at strangers. Some might mutter abuse at strangers or dance just because they wanted to. Some might go without sleep, make themselves ill, nearly kill themselves just to see the outcome of if they survived.
We all have different thresholds for we can or cannot take, both physically and psychologically.
What some may call self-abuse, others call 'freedom to express themselves'.
And maybe some people stop caring. Finding themselves able to just let go and do what they really want to.
And maybe when they stop worrying about other peoples opinions and how it'll affect them, they find they can achieve something close to expressive freedom.
Some people open a website, spill their every thought, feeling and emotion into it for a few weeks, and then wake up one day, completely overcome with emptiness. They can't think. Even when they can think, they don't know what it is they're thinking. They walk around in a daze, finding it hard to concentrate. Zombified. Wishing they'd feel something or have something of consequence to say. And when they're not walking around dead, they're miserable. People asking what's wrong, and always expecting a valid response and reason behind it, not realising that these things just happen sometimes, maybe it's beyond our control.
Sometimes.
It's called 'suffering for your art'.
And you can go from having a huge ego, thinking you can shit gold and everything is perfect, to being paranoid, cynical, critical, considering the possibility that you're only a mediocre writer and your art will never make a penny no matter how good it gets. And no amount of compliments can change that. You can consider yourself good at something, but you can at the same time consider you're not good enough.
It doesn't matter if you're right, it's what you believe.
It all depends on who you are and how you think.
And realising that in some cases, you could be one of those people in a rubber room if the correct authorities got their hands on you.
And some of us are destined for bigger and brighter things. Even if you don't want it, or need it, or think you're good enough, some of us are just meant to do something extraordinary in our lifetimes.
And if it doesn't work out, does it matter? Sometimes it's worth a shot.
Some of us have to teach the world something.
Some of us need to try and change things.